younger me.

i was in my moms room today making her bed when i glanced at her wall.
on there was a picture of me at 10 years old, the day of my 5th grade graduation.
and i was smiling, no teeth were showing because that was before braces and my grill was jacked but i was smiling. and i could tell that i was genuinely happy.
i started to cry as i asked myself, where did that little girl go? why is she no longer happy?
maybe because at 10 years old she just knew where her life was going and she knew things were gonna be okay.
i wish my 22 soon to be 23 year old self was around then to let her know that things would have taken a turn for the worse so that she could stay focus and get it done.
life is funny and you never really know what to expect but i tell you this, i damn sure did not expect this.
granted, my life could be a lot much worse but at the same time it could be better if i had just stayed on track and did what i had to do.
no one is blame but me and i know that.
doesnt make the pain and sadness any less tho.
im a stickler for saving face tho, so i will always smile as if every thing is peachy keen.