hmmm.

i havent had a good nights sleep since sometime last week.
and im so tired but blah w.e
umm i didnt do much this week at alll.
went to hang with ash on wednesday.
me, her, christian and justin = funny times and the DUMBEST cipher of weed i ever witnessed in my life.
and no i did not smoke.
but of course i drank.
you could say i still dont talk to christian but considering we were all in the same room neither one of us had a choice.

lately im always missing someone.
for no reason at all.

there is this MOB sweatshirt i really want.
& i dont wanna pay for it.
but i wont have a choice.
cuz my boys dont spoil me.
=[.


i guess thats it.


p.s- i just saw this on another blog:

Girls are insecure. Women are confident.

Girls dress trashy. Women dress classy.

Girls are students. Women are teachers.

Girls are listeners. Women are preachers.

Girls make babies. Women raise babies.

Girls have sex. Women make love.

Girls are weak. Women are strong.

Girls fight. Women walk away.

Girls argue. Women speak.

Girls give in. Women compromise.

Girls envy. Women appreciate.

Girls give up. Women strive.

Girls look. Women see.

Girls take. Women give.

Girls follow. Women influence.

-- Christina E. Brown

no words needed.

summer is almost over.

and i think im going to miss it.
i didnt do anything extravagant.
like i didnt travel at all but i still had my funs.
made new friends sorta.
well just got closer to some.
ash <3.
spent a lot of my summer with her.

school starts on wednesday.
and im hella upset abt that.
why cant we go back in september.
like all the rest of the non-cuny kids.
why we gotta get an extra week of school.
how unfair.


so umm update: i still havent spoken to the boy i talked abt in my first post.
i was tempted to today but he wasnt online.
an still isnt and i refuse to text him.
yay me!
oh and i believe i messed up the coloring in my tat.
because i exposed it to the beach to early.
but ahh oh well if anything i'll just go get it done over.


im tired now.
i got like NO sleep this weekend.
the highlight of my weekend: being in the church van while it was being towed back to church from nj.
the battery died on us on the way back from dorney park.
oh yea dorney park was horrible.
we are NEVER going back there again.
at least not on a saturday.

my god-sis is leaving for school on saturday.
so we had a surprise bbq for her at my house today.
oh how i am going to miss my loser.
me and her have come a LOOOOONGGGGGGG way.
when we were younger i couldnt stand her.
which i guess is a part of growing up.
cuz no we are pretty darn tight.
thats my baby.
it hasnt sunk in fully yet.
but i think ima cry when it does.
OMG she sang at church today.
and i teared.
she hasnt sang at church in YEARRRS.

umm i guess thats abt it.
till next time.

nothing at all.

is what i feel right now.
im so empty inside and its quite sad.
i rarely have a medium.
its either i have all the emotions in the world running thru me or none at all.
unfortunately right now its none at all.
sometimes i hate when i'm like this.
b.c i just stop caring and NOTHING matters.
most of the time this emptiness goes away by itself.
but sometimes i need a lil help.
and i dont think im going to get the help right now.

in other news i have one day left with my kids at my tennis job.
which also means i have one day left to talk to mr.levon.
i've basically been attracted to him since the spring.
its weird cuz we like eachother but neither one of us has said nething.
even some of the KIDS know.
its not that we have said nething to them.
apparently they're just good at reading ppl/feelings.
so yea if i dont talk to him tomorrow that will be the end of that.
ugh i hate having to talk to boys.
things were so much easier when were kids.
technically i have 2 days left at my tennis job but since my kids are going on a trip friday.
tomorrow will be the last day i see them till spring.
as much they drove me up a will these past few months i will miss them.
not all of them but enuff of them.

thats pretty much it.
i love my blogs never have a specific direction.

vaca.

my mom has been on vaca since last wednesday.
and it was best!
she comes back tonite tho.
i know this is bad but i can honestly say i didnt miss her.
she hasnt been gone long enuff for me to miss her.

but uhh of course i've been out and abt since she hasnt been home.
didnt do too much last week!
the big bro slept over thurs nite cuz i was lil scared.
yea yea i know.


but grandma turned 75 on monday.
we had her party on sat.
she was sooooooooo happy.

thats mi grandmumster.
man idk what i would do without her.
i love her more than life itself.

on monday i got tat #2.

joshua came with me.
and took pics of all the faces i was making.
those will not be posted for ure humor.
after that the boys came back to my place and kept me company all nite.
i missed hanging out with them.
it was the 1st time i was with all 4 of them in a while.


wednesday i hung out with ash.
ran some errands and did some shopping.
and got some eatssssss.
we went to mancora this peruvian restaurant with realllly good food.


today joe finally came over.
all i'm saying is i enjoy his company.
and im going to sleep with a smile on my face.