summer

already july and my 2nd update of the year.
summer has been pretty good to me.
my 22nd birthday was pretty legit.
mufdi threw me a birthday bbq, it was supposed to be on the beach but due to the rain we had it in my backyard.
which turned out for the better because even more people got to come.
i had such a lovely time.
partied a bit.
i went to VA with my girls; mickey, milly and ebony.
i got to see my navy boy.
god did i ever miss him.
its already august 2nd tho, summer owes me sometime.
and as summer comes to end i have to look at where my life is going next.
im in such a bind with school, i realized yesterday how much i truly hate my job.
i feel stuck, so stuck.
its no ones fault but my own and i cant/dont want to ask anyone for help.
so somethings got a give, therefore im going to start the air force process.

things with what was once the love of my life are fully over.
we were kidding ourselves.
there wasnt anything here for us anymore.
i am okay with this because i felt it.
i still love him and im sure i always will but it was time to let go.


i have the WORST time trying to talk/tell someone about my feelings.
last night i tried to tell my navy boy that i more or less love him.
and i couldnt even formulate the thoughts to get it out right.
feelings/emotions are so overrated to me.
i cant deal man.